Sick or Hungry? (part 2) (warning: vomit!)

I can't remember when I started really eating normally again, but I do know I was still having issues in 2004 and occasionally since then.  I have frustrating days when I'm just not hungry, or can't tell if I'm sick instead of hungry.  I had a bad week in May--my stomach just hurt and I didn't know if I had a stomach bug or was just stressed and tired and not eating enough.  I get so angry when that happens because I feel like I can't control it.  I tried eating, I tried not eating, I tried antacids, but nothing worked.  I finally gave up and just let my stomach chew on itself for a night and felt better in the morning.  I call it a "grabby" stomach:  sometimes (not nearly as much now) when I eat it's as though my stomach clenches onto the food, which also hurts.  Sometimes I just have to err on the side of hunger.  I figure if I'm going to throw up, at least I'll have something to throw up. 


About two years ago, I was awakened in the middle of the night with the familiar stomach pain.  I drank a glass of milk and pulled out the heating pad, which usually worked.  Not that night.  Not an hour later, the cramps started again and I thought I might be sick, so I headed to the bathroom when things took a turn for the worse.  The cramps became so bad I honestly thought I was having a heart attack.  My chest hurt, I couldn't breathe, and I very literally prayed that I wasn't going to die.  After several agonizing minutes, I was finally able to make myself vomit (HIGHLY unpleasant), which relieved some of the pressure and pain, and cried my way back to bed.  I called my doctor the next day and he diagnosed me with a hiatal hernia--which basically means there is a weak spot in my diaphragm and my stomach likes to try crawling up my esophagus into my chest cavity--and put me on a heavy-duty antacid.  I have some really effective therapies for when it acts up, but I blame the Year From Hell for it.  I didn't have issues until then, and it's been recurrent since.

My stomach issues from the Year From Hell have made me almost paranoid about not eating enough.  This is why I will never go on a restrictive diet unless I become diabetic or something.  The thought of restricting my calorie intake in such a way makes me anxious that I'll go through that kind of near-daily pain again, and I refuse to do it.